December and its reflections

 

Hello friends, 

Well, it's been a long while since I've written anything on here. There was a time where blogging was such huge priority in my life. But time has this ridiculous way of shifting everything. That's no surprise. December is mine and my daughter's birthday month. Before her, it was a month to reflect on my progress over the past year and see where I need to make changes or make a leap of faith and change. After her, it's still the same but even more intense of a feeling, something deeper. It's become a mile marker for both of us and to have another soul along on the trail with me now makes it more crucial to be keeping in step and on the path. 

A few years ago, on my 33rd I remember sitting in my studio in the freezing cold thinking things just had to change. It felt like I had opened a portal that night with that wish. After that, everything did change. The next month, I met Scott, and the rest is my current situation. I find it amazing that a simple call to the universe can be so powerful.  

As I reflect on this past year, how Pen and I are growing and changing and our family gets more stable and grows, I am reminded of the years before as I wished for all of this. The only thing I can wish for now is just more of all of that and to continue to thrive and grow. There were so many years that I felt shaky in my beliefs, my situation and my sanity. The difference in me from when I started this blog at age 30 to now feels so monumental. When I sat down to write this post, I didn't know what I wanted to say but it's becoming clear that this is a love letter to growth and the courage to change. 

Over the past three years since moving to Vandergrift, my life has blossomed into something so beautiful! There's been some really incredible people come into my life, not just the incredible family I've married into but folks in town that I've come to call friends. My art is in a gorgeous, magical, and safe shop. I've raised dozens of chickens. My relationship with nature grows stronger with every hike my husband and I take. And, my love of Pennsylvania deepens every passing season, watching the leaves change this fall was breathtaking. I feel so blessed to be here. 

Scott has this theory on 'heaven and hell' that has really resonated with me. He says that he believes that heaven and hell are right here on earth, they're not some mystical places above and below, and you can either be a decent person and live in heaven right now or be a dick and create your own hell. As I process the past decade, I truly do believe that. Everything that has happened, all the lessons, all the trials and errors since my mother's passing in 2011 prove it to me. And to be sitting in my cute little house now, with my 2 dogs, my cute little black cat, listening to my daughter gulp down her bottle while my insanely handsome husband is resting in our warm bedroom on this lazy Sunday morning, I can't help but to think I'm in heaven. Excuse my while I go finish my coffee and bask in this glow. 

Sending all the love your way. 

love, h.