Uninspired Cabin Fever

Hello friends,

This point in the year is the most difficult for me. February in Pennsylvania is so fickle. Imbolc has just passed up, the goddess is awakening, and The Groundhog Supremacy has spoken...an early spring. But, I walked outside this morning to greet the birds and my feet were quickly met by the harsh cold of soggy pavement. It's still so cold on the ground, very few signs of spring are visible. Bryan and I went for a walk around the neighborhood the other day and I searched for signs of growth and did see some small sprouts - that was such a lovely feeling.

We opened up all the windows. The cats have really been enjoying it, and letting the fresh air into the house has really helped bring some life into these walls. But, I can't lie...I'm still itching to get outside and I think that has made work a bit stale. My mind has definitely been some where else lately resulting in a bit of an inspiration dry spell. I think it also has something to do with the fact that there are several shows coming up, I've been working on so many costume projects and specific art, and I think it's kind of drained me lately of all my creative juices. So there hasn't been much personal work and the work that I have done recently feels devoid of spirit in a way.

So, what to do when feeling uninspired? Work on studies, and go back to basics. I found a stack of small wood panels, some with lacy laser cutouts, and decided to paint a few small eye and mouth studies on them. I figured they would be good for small pieces for the festivals and they're good for practice. I think when I quit my job, and spent the first few weeks home, all of my old ideas just spilled out of me into those first few pieces I did earlier in the month. I puked out several standard ideas, things I had been working on for a while now, and it's left me kind of empty creatively; leaving me searching for new inspiration and exploring new ideas and surfaces.

Cabin fever has definitely set it for me, it usually does in February. I'm hoping I can ward of my seasonal affective disorder this month and continue to appreciate this time of year, but I can already feel the struggle. Going for walks and visiting the library with Bryan has been helping keep my mind fresh. I just need to get myself out of the house more often on my own, I wish it were just a little warmer and I would go for more hikes.

This week I have been inspired by the color pallets of the 70's, the bold patterns with simple shapes and the muted sunset tones. I dug a bag of old denim I've been hoarding out of storage and have started painting on those, another item I'll be bringing to festivals this year (along with some other clothing items). I'm going for a vintage feel for this year's tent theme, and I'm sure a couple of you reading this are thinking to yourself....'Holly, that's like everything you do'.......yea, I know. But this year, I'm really leaning in hard on the psychedelic themes and color inspiration. I want you to feel like you stepped into an acid trip in the fields of the Woodstock festival when you step foot in my tent. I want it to be color pallet time travel.

I guess I can't really say that I'm not inspired or that the season is draining me. I think I'm just in the midst of a change in style, and evolution of my work. And, that's kind of scary. I've been here before, and just kind of buried my head in the sand and continued to paint the normal shit. Something feels different this time. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's aging. Maybe I'm just bored with painting pretty things that are just pretty....but I still like pretty things. I'm on the fence with a lot of things.

But, I know that this year already feels good...I'm cautiously optimistic. There's a lot of fun things coming up soon, and maybe it's the anticipation of upcoming shows that's got me itching for things to pick up and become more interesting. It's been a quiet winter so far, and I'm ready to get out of the house and boogie in a field with my art people. Wearing sweaters and layers of warmth is only fun for so long. Maybe I'm just craving the warmth of summer and getting impatient; like a kid waiting for their birthday party.

Til then, I'll just do my best to relax and continue to enjoy what this time of year has to offer.

xo. ❤ h.